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No Ordinary Life by Melinda Cochrane

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After miscarrying a baby several years ago, there was part of me that had never found peace with it. So many people told me that it was nothing, and being a strong woman meant it should not be something that I allowed to ‘get to me.’ It was a late term miscarriage, I’d named the son I thought I’d have, Lucas. My daughter was excited, and I felt I had let everyone down by again having difficulty caring a child- as I had nearly pre-termed my daughter. Writing this foreword brought me back to all the unresolved disappointment of loss, as shortly after this I was treated for endometriosis, a medical problem that may have accounted for the difficulties during pregnancy. The treatment left me infertile, and I was unable to have anymore chances at being a mother – something I loved more than life.

After also experiencing a separation, I came face to face with another loss, and it brought home the need to talk about the things I’d been through as a woman, such as infertility. This book, and the character Beth became symbolic of pain release as I sat writing it after my official separation papers and my relocation into a new home. The only thing I had to find comfort in was my writing. The first thing I thought when I opened my door to my new home was, “I can’t have any babies, I am old and who’s going to love me now?” Irrational but real emotions, which women go through.

This story, however is a fictional novel, and no one in this book resembles the people in my life past or present. But the part that is not fiction is the realization that loss can be profound and can linger for years. I lost a baby; I isolated myself from others and it was not until I wrote this book that I realized how deeply I wanted to have more children.

The book also took on a life of its own when I began to experience as a newly divorced woman how quickly I became a target for people who saw me as a possible profit to be gained. By this I mean those who overcharge, and yes, hustle women for money under the guise of caring about their lives and dreams. I encountered what I can only call “she’s just a woman, charge her more for repairs" syndrome; "She doesn’t know about things like that.” I then began researching divorce rates because of social networking sites and found the reality of it almost to be an awakening. Divorce rates have gone up astronomically (www.cnbc.com). Then Beth, dear Beth, became the woman who turned to these sites for her writing dreams. Being a writer, I understood her dreaming, and thus Beth meets an online swindler.

From this book I want to leave a lasting message: One, that women must be wary of strangers online, and two, that loss of a child, even a late miscarriage can be mourned. Strength is the ability to admit it hurts

Click here to search for this book at the Atwater Library.

English

Fiction

science fiction

2015

978-1-926876-51-1

Soul Asylum Poetry and Publishing

Jackson's Point, Ontario

2015

170

1

softcover